


Judas

by forsanolim



Series: Utterly Unsubtle [1]
Category: Christian Bible
Genre: Character Death, Crucifixion, gethsemane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 16:22:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16453277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forsanolim/pseuds/forsanolim
Summary: That fateful night, that fateful day





	Judas

** \- Incentive - **

_Take us_ , they said. _We want to meet him. We too want to learn from the esteemed teacher. Yes, take us to him._

They offered silver.

_For your trouble_ , they said. _As an apology and a reward.Surely you deserve something for gathering more students_.

Take them to Teacher? Of course. He should have done it even without the incentive of money. They were more students willing to learn.

Thirty pieces of silver- even the others wouldn’t mind. There had been no roof or decent food for several days. The silver would provide them all with some small comfort tonight. It would be a welcome break. And the rest would go to the poor. They would all benefit from this.

 

** \- A kiss - **

This wasn’t supposed to happen. This was _not_ supposed to happen.

They were supposed to meet with Teacher and become eager students. They were supposed to be grateful for bringing them to him.

And they _were_.

_Very_ grateful, in fact. They even offered more silver, if only he would stop being a bother.

Because he did offer- offer to return those thirty pieces of silver in exchange for their Teacher.

Some laughed. Others sneered.

“I’ll give you more. However much you ask.”

They refused. "We have everything we need.”

“Be glad. He is a criminal. You have done a great service.”

_But I don’t want to be a great service. I want Teacher._

Further protests only result in getting thrown out.

 

** \- Crucify him - **

Oh God, Teacher, NO!

There’s blood _everywhere_.

How can he see like that? One eye so swollen it seems shut; the other a sunken, black and blue mess- oh God, is there even an eye still under there- and leaking blood.

I’m so sorry.

Bone shows through torn skin and muscle. I can see tendons and organs rippling, twitching as he takes another step. I suppress the urge to vomit.

The crowd jeers and I want to scream. Scream at them to _shut up_. You have no idea what you’re talking about, no idea whom you’re addressing. Don’t you remember singing to him, welcoming him into your city with open arms?

But my mouth remains silent. Voices continue to screech and shriek and spit as Teacher staggers on. And I stand back- watching, silent, unmoving.

They nail Teacher to a cross and stand it up on a platform before the crowd.

There are women weeping at his feet, crying out to him and begging.

I want to be one of those women. To weep and grieve and beg with them. To call out openly and declare to the world the injustice. 

To place my hands upon the bloodied toes and beg his forgiveness.

_ I’m sorry, Teacher. _

F ear holds me back. _The man is a criminal_ , they said. _To associate with or defend him is also to become a criminal yourself._

I am afraid. I am so deeply afraid to be taken in and become one of the men hanging on the cross. I cannot block out the gasps of pain; even screaming has become too much of an effort, but death will not be soon in coming. 

I want to be one of those women, those brave, fearless women at Teacher’s feet.

I think I might recognize some of the soldiers standing there. I feel eyes on me, a criminal and traitor to either side.I stand back and choke back my tears. I cannot be seen here.

 

** \- Grief - **

Teacher!

Teacher, I’m so sorry. I never meant for this to happen.

Please, please forgive me. I never intended any of this.

I’m so sorry.

I’m sorry. Please forgive me.


End file.
